i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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