The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
