our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
third nipple confirmed
My feet surprised me
Randomize
