please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
