Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
