All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
