The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
