Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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