your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
