I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize