we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
