the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
