Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
