Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So much Jack, so little girl.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
