Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I booty called her while she was in labor.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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