doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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