These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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