I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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