Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize