yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
