Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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