I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
if only i could text you this smell
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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