I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
