Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I still have a little drunk in my system
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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