do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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