Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
