from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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