she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
