im so drunk with asians
where?
always
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
