why didn't you poke me back
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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