just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
