I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
