he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
