he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
wow bdsm is so cute
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize