Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I can't turn off my feet"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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