i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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