What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
