On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
