Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
