They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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