they need to just BURY HIM!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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