Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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