he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
