a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
