I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize