Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
