Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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(512): View more from Texas

the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys

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(410): View more from Maryland

The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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(503): View more from Oregon

we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

How are you feeling?

(435): View more from Utah

I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.

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(406): View more from Montana

She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids

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