There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
