Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
