who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
