census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
