he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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