she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
