So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up under a house in Key West
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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