I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
