the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
