I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
