You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
