addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have post one night stand depression
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