We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize