i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
