Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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