you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Randomize
