Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
