Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
