I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
