You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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