I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
