So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
