I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
