I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
