no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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