I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
