the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But break dance skills will only take you so far
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
