My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
