So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
