I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Who died my cat blue again?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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