Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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