yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
vagina is talking i cant
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize