i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
