Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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